It’s a golden rule that we could all do with following.
It’s the most horrible thing when your signifcant other pressures you into changing so that they continue to find you attractive. That is an AWFUL thing to say to someone you supposedly love, and so very, very hurtful.
I still remember how I felt when an ex boyfriend told me he couldn’t remember the last time I *tried* to be sexy. This was said after I had been work for hours, while he’d lain around in his bathrobe all day playing video games because he’d been made redundant three weeks previously.
I was naked at the time he said this, and while HIS behaviour was terrible, I was the one who felt ugly and ashamed. He said this to me because I didn’t feel like having sex, because I was stressed out (being the only one of us who was working) and I was TIRED.
Damn right I didn’t feel sexy. I didn’t feel protected, or cherished, or secure, or valued in any way (except that I happened to be in front of him, and coincidentally be in possession of a vagina).
It took me another three years to leave this “man”, but I did, and I did it to save my own life.
I refuse to change my body for anyone but myself. You should NEVER have to physically change yourself in order to be loved. Love is meant to be unconditional. There shouldn’t be any fine print stating that your relationship may only exist so long as you remain a certain dress size, or wear full makeup every single day.
If YOU want to make changes to your body because it is what YOU want, because you love your body and want to take care of it, that’s wonderful.
And if you love your body JUST THE WAY IT IS, that’s wonderful too.
It’s your body, and YOU make the rules.