Of *course* someone has invented a VR/AI sex toy for men.

Oh, good grief.

Of *course* someone has invented a VR/AI sex toy for men. Naturally.

Now, I respect everyone’s right to get their rocks off, but I think the way this new sex toy is being marketed is perhaps a touch too “woke”.

Could this futuristic sex toy be a replacement for real-life sexual intimacy?

Jeff certainly hopes so.

‘Traditional intimacy isn’t for everyone,’ he tells us. ‘It is broken and not getting any better, but until now it was hard to replace the real thing so for people who have intimacy issues it became a big point of frustration and depression. This system will help some people get over intimacy issues so they are comfortable interacting with a partner in an intimate setting.’

Metro.co.uk

Man, this makes me feel like a total prude.

I feel a bit squicky. My bottom lip is tugged down at the left in an expression of “ewwwwww”.

In the same way that every time we want to get down, I don’t whip out my favourite sex toy and go to town on myself while the South African twiddles his thumbs and whistles a jaunty tune, I don’t ever want to be replaced by a machine.

Man cannot live on vibes alone.

It’s great to know your body and what you like, but there’s a certain level of intimacy that I just don’t think you can get exclusively from toys.

But don’t worry, because if the “intimacy issues” call to action isn’t doing it for you, there’s always the “save the planet” angle.

Yes, the creator of this new all-singing, all-dancing, self-heating device (there’s a burn you don’t want to have to explain in A&E) has claimed that this miracle of a fleshlight will help you to combat climate change.

“Not tonight, darling – I’m saving the planet.”

The logic here is that the more men who use this sex toy instead of PIV, the less baby producing sex they’ll be having. No baby making = reduction in climax (sorry, CLIMATE) impact.

“If you look at this from a sustainability perspective reducing the birth-rate will help climate change and long term sustainability, so there is that.”

Jeff Dillon – CEO & Founder VirtualMate

Well, fuck me sideways (or not, depending on whether you own a VirtualMate), that’s some reasonably sound logic there.

Of course, the fewer children we have, the lower our carbon footprint, but it’s a BOLD move to use this a USP for a sex toy, hey?

We could apply the same argument to contraception: slip a condom on, and have worry free sex, knowing that you’ve done your part to help tackle climate change. Also, please do not attempt to recycle this condom.

The mind, it boggles.